Friday, January 7, 2011

I'm Going To Have To Sell My First Born Child To Buy Textbooks

Can you say 401 K rape?

Why must I value my education? Someone in Tokyo could hear my consumer heart break into tiny little shards when my finger bull dozed over the mouse to check out my purchases on Amazon last night. There is really no point in this post except to vent about how expensive it is to be a student. Yes, its life. But why not make a blog post and make it fabulous and offensive?

This is the type of textbook I use after 5 pm.

So while I sit here writing this FaBlog, my debit card is getting it royally like Kim Kardashian in front of a tripod. There goes the rest of my summer job money waiting tables on the finicky and genteel modern day Victorian clients of Princeton who order a wild organic Arugula Salad, glass of Castellar Brut, and tip like a fucking peasant . Such is life! I'm not going to say I want to blow Donald Trump...

...unless it gets me those. Just kidding, I would never. Allegedly. I cherish the entire experience. I want to be working at 5 Starbucks, residing in an apartment that is the size of an Ugg boot, and living with more people than Kate Gosselin can pop out. I want to be so poor the only thing I can afford is a Metrocard and hairspray. Good memories and good friends are priceless especially if you're a pauper. 

So my darling little nuggets, if you're a student and you're paying exorbitant amounts of money to stimulate your academic blood flow, you better be reading your damn books. 

And if you're not a student and reading this: hire me. I'll scrub your fucking toilets and work my way to the top. 

<3

1 comment:

  1. "I want to be so poor the only thing I can afford is a Metrocard and hairspray. Good memories and good friends are priceless especially if you're a pauper."
    This gave me goosebumps. You are spectacular and I loooove you

    ReplyDelete