Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Yahoo: Google's Less Attractive Brother

Thanks to the power of blogging and the first amendment I can now tear Yahoo a new one. Ok, first of all Yahoo news sucks a majority of the time. Dovetailing headlines that go from fashion mistakes made on the Golden Globes to your eating habits that will most likely lead to cancer or a third nipple are affluently inane and meaningless.  Why are they featuring Kim Kardashian's new haircut like it was Sputnik all over again?

Ok, Justin Timberlake is about as relevant as dial-up internet. The article above was four stories ahead of the crisis prevailing in Egypt. Unlike other credible news outlets, Yahoo does not address the underlying logic and coherence that governs the structure, language, and content of a reliable news source, and instead garnishes their page with irrelevant poppycock like this:

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? Whoever wrote that can go make out with a bunsen burner. Unfortunately, Yahoo news is shamefully reflective of the American population and how we would rather read about what Charlie Sheen is doing with his prostitutes instead of global events that actually have an impact on our lives. 

Ok, so the Brazilians aren't fans of unpunctuality. Neither is every other person. Not front page worthy. Grow a pair of Golden Globes. 

One more thing, is a blind nun running Yahoo's fashion section? A lot of gorgeous and breath taking garments receive low ratings. I mean if I were ridiculed and shit talked about something I wore, I would be more affected if it came from a prominent fashion designer than the fuckery that comes from Yahoo. 

Also, its painfully obviously that Yahoo is bias and likes some celebrities more than others with rhetoric  undermining negative/positive opinions, violating news reporting's number one code of conduct of being objective.  

So in conclusion, Yahoo and Fox should go fornicate and have a useless child. Oh wait they did, his name is Glenn Beck.

Brb, I'm going to go read about how watching paint dry can cause me to get SARs.

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