Saturday, October 29, 2011

Fake Eyelashes, Beer, and Tears

I have always said the pen was my weapon of choice, and now I'm using it against you. Because I care about you that much.

To Whom It May Concern:

You didn't lie when you said "it's all happening." But no one knew if it was for the better or for the worse. But it's certainly happening either way, whether we like it or not, whether we're ready or not ready.

You said I may not see or know the "real" you. The darkness exiled from the abyss of our identities upstages our youth and kindred spirits. Under the leather, lace, eyeliner, thick make up, and hairspray, we're just a bunch of kids looking for validation. I found it in you. I owe eternal gratitude for how much you've changed my life in a miraculously brief amount of time.

I may for the first time be completely speechless. I can't come up with the right words; the thoughts that I want to convey to you somehow seem to get slaughtered somewhere between my brain and mouth. I guess what I want to say is pushing me away is causing more harm than good. You say you want to protect me, but baby, maybe it's you that doesn't know the "real" me. You think I'm too good, and that being so close to you will be detrimental to me. But I'm not. I'm selfish, lazy, an asshole, and a drunk. These flaws take a backseat when I'm with you. I feel blessed to have this connection with you and I strongly believe through celestial influence that we were meant to have this peculiar bond we've built. And I feel like we're meant to be like this for however long we're supposed to be around.

I know that I'm racing against the needle. One of us needs to get to you first. I take your words seriously. But who knows, you and I were born to lose. It's something I've learned to live with, yet every time that theory is corroborated, it hurts just as much as the first time. Perhaps Thunders was right. But even if this isn't victorious, I want to be with you, not away, when whatever happens, happens. You were the one after all, who said it would all happen. And we might as well make the best in our black halo of misery and hopelessness. You're a beacon of light in that nebula, and it's too dark to navigate without you. If we're gonna cascade into mental oblivion, might as well do it together.

So there you go, a Penny for your thoughts?


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