Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year and Happy Birthday!

I hope everyone welcomed 2012 in the most inebriated of ways possible. If you were sober that's because Jesus hates you and masturbates in your hair while you're sleeping.

Anyway, as 2012 drops its anchor, I also want to wish a happy birthday to this blog! I started writing it exactly one year ago as my 2011 New Year's resolution and a year later I've accumulated 30,000 hits and counting from all around the world. It's a dream come true. I literally did not think I would be sitting here a year later, writing another post on this ridiculous blog that I have concocted from the depths of my peculiar and questionable imagination. I've been asked to start writing some sort of online publication that stemmed from my notorious social media, uh, "posts" that incorporate inappropriate humor and eyebrow raising, while at the same time endeavored to rejuvenate my passion for writing. So if you've ever read one of my posts, or said one nice thing, I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Here's a kiss for you hookers:


I suppose my New Year's resolution this year is really weird. I've always harbored this theory that there's  some sort of cosmic vendetta against me. That my life is God's personal entertainment. I feel like every good thing that happens to me is fleeting, and that I've been somewhat cursed. My resolution is to stop believing that, and have a little faith. Life is what you make of it and there's no celestial conspiracy behind it. So cheers, to a happy and healthy 2012.

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